Title: A Promise to Keep
Author: Selena
Summary: Third story of the Promise series.
Disclaimer: Don't sue me, please.

Thanks, again, Becca and Liza!

"Maria Elizabeth Beegie! Do not run!." Mac's words to her daughter didn't quite get the effect she had hoped for. Oh, her precocious three year old stopped...but only after she ran into the shin of a certain, two-star Admiral.

"Uh, Sir...I'm so sorry," Mac stammered on behalf of her daughter. Mac's day was not getting any better. Her and Harm's new case was not going well. The sitter had called in sick, her car was making a horrible sound, and she knew she had to get herself and her daughter ready for little AJ's fifth birthday party that evening.

And, now, the Admiral was standing there looking at her with a grim expression. This expression lasted until he saw the tears brimming in Maria's eyes. Fortunately, after a quick inspection, Mac saw that the little girl was more surprised and frightened than hurt. The Admiral quickly scooped her into his arms and wiped the few tears away.

Maria sniffed and said, "I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to hurt your knee."

Because of the child's serious expression, AJ stifled a grin. He rubbed his chin over her soft hair and said, "No harm done. Just be careful in the future, young lady."

"Aye-aye, Sir," she responded brightly.

Mac let out a low sigh of relief. She honestly didn't know what she would have done the past three years without her friends. She supposed she had a right to worry about her fatherless daughter, but then she looked around her. Every man in the JAG office would gladly claim Maria as his own.

Since the horrible day that she lost Mario, Mac had never been alone...not really...not even when she wanted to be. She allowed herself a smile as she remembered her first lamaze class. She was determined to do it on her own, but was surprised when no less than four Naval officers showed up to act as her partner.

Then, of course, there was the matter of the crib. Admiral AJ Chegwidden could successfully command any number of men and women. Harm could land a Tomcat on a carrier in pitch blackness. Bud could make a computer do pretty much anything he wanted it to do. Yet, the three of them together could not assemble a simple piece of furniture. Mac and Harriet had laughed about that...as they reassembled the crib.

Mac had not been alone when Maria was born, either. In fact, the doctor jokingly asked who was defending the country. Half of the United States Navy seemed to be in the delivery room. After Maria's birth, their support had not stopped. The little girl had never wanted for a male role-model, and Mac was eternally grateful for that.

Now, seeing her daughter snuggle with a respected Navy Admiral had Mac's smile widening. She struggled into a respectful stance and took her daughter from the man the child affectionately called "Sir."

"Maria-bear, tell the Admiral goodbye. I know he has a lot to do," Mac suggested, hoping to make a graceful exit, before there could be any more mishaps.

"Are you gonna come to AJ's party? He's gonna turn five! Then, he's gonna get to go to school, an' he promised to tell me all about it. An' Auntie Harriet promised we could have cake, an' everybody's gonna be there," Maria asked her beloved Sir.

Mac tried, once again, to apologize for her daughter's overly-excited behavior, but AJ dismissed it. He replied, "Of course I'll be there. I do need a date, though."

Maria giggled, as did Mac. Then, they heard a familiar, and just as beloved, voice behind them.

"Nope, I do believe she's already taken."

"Harm!" squealed Maria. Then, she leapt from her mother's arms to Harm's. "Let's do the airplane. Please, Harm. You do it best," she pleaded.

Harm looked at the warning glares on both his CO's and his partner's face. He read them to mean, 'Don't you dare drop that child.' So, he looked sheepish and quietly promised Maria they would 'play airplane' later...at AJ's party.

Contented with that, Maria planted a kiss on Harm's cheek and went back to her mother's office.

The Admiral excused himself, and Harm and Mac made their way to Mac's office.

"So, since you're going to be my date, what time should I pick you up?" he asked, talking to Maria, but directing the question to Mac.

"Not that it's not a great offer, but we have to decline. I have to take the car to the garage after work. We'll probably have to come directly from there," Mac answered honestly.

Harm instantly asked, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Mac looked up with a determined expression and said, "No, I've got it all taken care of." Then, she got Maria settled with some paper, crayons, and more toys than one child could possibly use.

Harm held back a sigh. 'No, I can handle it.' He lost count of how many times he'd heard that, or something like it, during the past years. Directly after Mario's death, Mac had closed herself off completely. She wouldn't accept any help or comfort at all. It was as though she was punishing herself for being happy once.

She had handled the funeral, the insurance, the will, and the investigation of Mario's death all by herself. It wasn't until she nearly collapsed from exhaustion that she would accept help...and that was only for the baby. Mac would do anything for that child, but she was determined to always take care of herself.

Harm smiled as he looked at the beautiful dark haired, dark eyed girl playing in the corner. Because of Maria, Mac's defensive wall had been lowered a little, not removed, but let down enough to let some others in. But, recently Harm could see Mac begin to reconstruct the wall. He didn't know why...but he was bound and determined to find out. After all, he had a promise to keep.

The party had been a success...and the adults, at least, were exhausted. AJ had been allowed to invite five friends from pre-school. Many of the adults in attendance had been in combat situations, but that did not prepare them for managing seven children--all under the age of five.

After the last friend had been picked up, everyone collapsed in the living room. AJ and Maria were busily exploring AJ's new gifts, and the adults had begun to reminisce about the day of AJ's birth. Bud was busy trying to defend the fact that he was trapped in the elevator, when Harm allowed his mind to wander...

'In five years...we'll go in halves on a kid.'

'You and me have a baby together?'

'Don't make a promise you can't keep.'

'I haven't yet.'

And, no, he hadn't broken any other promises to Mac...or to Mario. During the past years, he had done everything possible to make sure Mac and Maria were safe and happy. He even felt as though Mac's husband would have approved. But this promise...it was the one that haunted him.

Unaware of Harm's thoughts, Mac's mind drifted back to this same conversation. She remembered how her life was spinning out of control. Harriet and Bud were starting a new life together, Chloe was getting the family she always wanted, and Harm was leaving her. She had felt so lost...and then Harm had come up with that crazy plan. So much of her had wanted him to be serious. She had fully planned to wait on him and hunt him down as soon as AJ turned five. But now...everything had changed. There was no way she would allow herself to love anyone again, especially if it meant losing them.

Harriet finally saw the sad expressions on Harm and Mac's faces and decided to change the subject. She announced that it was AJ's bedtime, and Mac quickly agreed that she and Maria needed to go home. Everyone wished each other a good night and headed out to their cars. Harm was ready to pull away when he saw Mac get out of the car to pop the hood. He quickly exited his own car and went to see what he could do. What he saw shocked him...and scared him a little. Tears were streaming down Mac's face, but when Harm tried to touch her arm, Mac pulled roughly away. Seeing that he wasn't going to get anywhere, Harm got Maria out of her car seat and took her inside. Harriet and Bud would put her down in the guest room, so at least Harm knew she would be okay. Then, Harm went outside to check on Mac. She was still standing there, staring blankly at the engine. Because she was Mac, she had pulled herself together. The tears were gone, but her eyes were red-rimmed. Her voice was low, but steady as she said, "The guys at the garage said that noise was nothing. Guess they were wrong." Then, she slammed the hood and said, "I should go call for a tow." She tried to walk towards the house, but Harm grabbed her elbow gently.

"Talk to me," was all he said.

"Don't. Please," was her reply, but she still wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mac, but I can't do that," he said. "I made a promise."

With that, Mac stiffened once more, and she tried to walk away.

Realization finally dawned on Harm, and he saw what Mac was struggling with. She, too, remembered that promise on the front steps of JAG. He gently cupped her chin, raising her head so their eyes met.

"Please, Harm, just leave it alone. It's late...it's just too late. I know you feel sorry for me, and you feel responsible for me, but I'm fine. We're fine," she finished brokenly.

Harm forced Mac to maintain eye contact as he said, "Don't push me away. I'm not going anywhere. I know I made a promise to you...but I made one to him, too. He asked me to take care of you, and I have."

"You've held up your end of the bargain, Harm. You don't have to feel obligated anymore. You kept your promise, and you can move on now." Mac finally wrenched herself away and headed to the house to get her daughter.

Stunned, Harm took a moment to catch up with Mac at the door. When he found his voice, he asked, "What about the other promise?"

Mac quietly answered, "That's one you don't have to keep." Then, she quietly entered the house, leaving a broken and speechless Harm standing outside.

Mac drove home silently. The 24 hour mechanic had connected some stupid wire and the car had started quickly. Maria was asleep in her car seat, leaving Mac alone with her thoughts.

'Why couldn't he have left it alone? Doesn't he know that I would give anything to be with him?' But Mac wouldn't even let herself think that way. It wasn't fair to Harm. He had given so much of his life the past three years to look after them. Mac could count on one hand the number of dates Harm had been on. His weekends had been spent doing the extra work at JAG, helping Mac around the house, or babysitting Maria, just so Mac could have a few moments to herself.

Harm deserved more than that, Mac reasoned. He deserved a woman who could give him everything he wanted...one who wouldn't have to see him get hurt, or worse. Mac had loved enough, and lost enough, to realize that she and Harm could never be. With new resolve, she wiped her eyes and pulled into her driveway.

She was only a little shocked to see Harm waiting there. Wordlessly, he opened the car door and picked up a sleeping Maria. Mac unlocked the door and stared as Harm went up the stairs to put Maria in her own bed.

It scared her how good Harm was with the little girl. Her heart ached as she realized that Harm loved Maria like his own.

This new realization was fresh on her mind when Harm came down the stairs and led her to the living room. He took Mac's hands, swallowed audibly, and began, "Please hear me out. I have never seen you as a responsibility or an obligation. You have only ever been a friend to me. You've saved me more times than I can count. You've done more for me than anyone in this world. You mean the world to me...and I need you in my life. I know that you can never lo...," Harm stopped himself and cleared his throat. He began again, "I know you'll never feel that way for me, but please don't shut me out. I need you."

Mac's eyes were wide and her heart heavy as she gathered her thoughts. She knew how she felt, but she also knew what she had to say...for Harm's own good. "Harm, you can never know how much you have meant to me. And I can never repay you. But, it's not fair to you. You have to live your own life."

Harm began to shake his head, but Mac laid a gentle finger to his lips before he could protest. "No, I can't let you throw away your entire life for me. You deserve so much more...," Mac's voice broke before she could finish.

Seeing how much he was hurting Mac, Harm decided to walk away. He knew that he would always be there for her, but he couldn't stand to see her hurt anymore. She'd known enough tears. He gently brushed a few tears away and stood to leave. He almost made it to the door when he heard something that he was never meant to hear, "I love you."

That was all it took, and he ran back to his partner. Mac's eyes widened in shock, but she allowed herself to be held as Harm rushed to her arms. She quickly collected herself and said, "I do love you, I always have...ever since that moment you were willing to help Uncle Matt. I knew I would never meet anyone else like you."

Harm's eyes filled, and he realized that his own dreams were coming true. However, he began to lose hope as Mac spoke these next words.

"But, Harm, it won't work. It just won't. There have been precious few men I have loved in this life, and I have managed to hurt, or lose, all of them. I won't let that happen to you. I can't let that happen. I need you, too, and I won't lose you...even if that means I have to let you go." It took all of Mac's strength and resolve to say those words...and she almost convinced herself that she believed them.

'So that was it,' Harm thought. 'I should have known. She was trying to protect me.' With renewed conviction, Harm looked at the only woman he had ever truly loved. He knew how he had to handle this.

"Colonel MacKenzie, I am not going anywhere...not even if you force me to. I have never loved anyone like I love you...and that's not something I take lightly. And I always keep my promises. I can't promise that I'll be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise that I will love you until I take my last breath."

Mac still had tears in her eyes, and her fear was real, but Harm's words had touched her heart. She took a deep breath and warned him, "Don't make a promise you can't keep."

"I haven't yet."



The End